Part of Me

Through the course of some events, God has helped me to realize that I have not entirely dealt with some events that happened when I was a child. This is a part of me that up to now has not been shared with many, but sometimes sharing the painful parts can bring healing and can let people see why someone might be how they are. In 1991, I was in the fourth grade and my family was back in the USA for the year. At that point my learning disorder had not been officially diagnosed and I was desperate to understand my instructions in school and to fit in. Thankfully, I do not recall every day of that awful year but my mom has told me that I came home every day crying over some event that had taken place that day. I recall being teased, bullied and not included in what I longed for,friends and acceptance.I recall getting in trouble because my teacher had to document sending home a student for spitting on me. i recall asking to play with the class and I was told by a classmate that they had to have a "class club meeting".After quick deliberation, my classmates leaned down from the wooden structure and with grins on their faces, rejected me with a loud NO!! A first grader stood up for me when she found me upset!! The memories above are etched in my mind forever, and while I may have healed some, it is clear I have not healed completely. I realized that this must be the root of my need to be accepted, my fear of being rejected and so on. I learned the hard way that kids can be cruel at a young age and it is up to us as adults to love and to be a voice for the children. He will walk us through the storms and will lead us by quiet waters and He will comfort us in our pain. He will draw us near and Fight for our good.